Saturday, 9 September 2017

We Now Return to our Regular Program.


Cough cough cough hello? Oh, eurh, ah! I remember this thing. Let's see if I can remember what to do. I think we played some games at the pub, possibly drank some beer, then we went home, the end. How'd I do?
Pffff OK fine. We played many games, some of which were Takenoko, Cyclades, Vikings Gone Wild, Evolution and Arctic Scavengers. And also a bunch of other ones that I was far too lazy and having far too much fun to write about.
The first of the aforementioned games, Takenoko, looks like a sort of Chinese Catan, but instead of a robber, there's a panda. Damn thievin' pandas. Somehow I've managed to miss out on playing this NoBoG perennial, so the players gave me the lowdown. The aim is to complete objectives, the first person to complete a few getting a bonus, the winner then being determined based on number of points gained from objectives.
Hexes + Sticks = Catan, I will accept no
disagreement. Fite me.

Ominous hand of doom casts a doom-laden
shadow over panda-thief of doom.
Objective cards of two kinds
Objectives can take one of three forms: having certain formations of irrigated tiles, certain amounts and heights of bamboo or making the pandathief eat certain bamboos. All of thse different things are accomplished through actions which you can take two of per turn. You have to take two different ones, so it's a good idea to take different goals so that you can work towards more than one each turn. It's difficult to purposefully screw people over because you never know what their goals are. Lewis shows me everything in an excited manner, and when I come back around there's looaads of bamboo growing. Maybe the Panda got full?
The bamboo grows taller.
Box art modelled by Lewis
Bonus card modelled by Lewis
Then I cycled over to a table playing Cyclades. (I didn't actually, that would be weird inside.) Cyclades is "World Domination slash Island Hopping," apparently — though I'm not sure if that's the kind of island hopping that Caledonian Macbrayne offers between the various Hebrides. You're fighting over fruit or "prosperity croissants" as the players call them (I'm not sure whether that's down to overactive imaginations or this is a colourfully named part of the CalMac breakfast option). They are actually cornucopiae and supposed to represent revenue but to be fair to the philistines they do look a bit like croissants. So the croissants give you money (they do always seem to go quickly at Tesco) which you then offer to the cash-grubbing Gods of ancient Greece. Whoever offers the most money to a particular God gets to take the corresponding action, such as obtaining or moving boats (Poseidon), getting or moving troops (Ares) and so on. If you lose the auctions you can always fall back on Apollo who'll get you more baked crescents. Another thing you can do with the Gods is summon awesome-looking mythical beasts like krakens and all sorts, though for some inexplicable reason no-one had done that yet. I mean, if I had been playing then who cares what the best tactics were, I'd be summoning myself a kraken at the very first opportunity!
Island Hopping: not just for MacArthur!
Gods to whom you can tribute money.
Three warriors defending a
prosperity croissant
Cthulhu wakes! Whoops, wrong mythology.
The objective of the whole thing is to get buildings and merge them into metropolises. The nice thing (depending on which end of it you're on) is that you can let someone else build the metropolises and then walk in and nick them. Easy peasy! Though apparently you have to actually win the fight before the guys on the island just give up the city — so much effort!
Wild-eyed from playing Vikings Gone Wild, Hannah declared that she had been drinking all the beer. Specifically she is "a very aggressive drunk Viking." In fact they've got so wild that James has fudged the win conditions so that they could carry on playing for longer! Crazy!Wild! As an excuse, Hannah said they were "having too much fun," though I suspect that James just needed a bit more time to win. Hannah has tons of chicken towers which (for some reason) add defence, and also the ability to tax everyone else's beer. This is particularly unfortunate for David whose economy is based around making beer.
There sure is a lot of stuff on this board.
That's a lot of gold.
That's a lot of beer. Would be shame
if anyone were to... tax it.
Next I popped along to the primordial soup of Evolution. Now, some people would say Sam has only just crawled out of the primordial soup himself but that would be rude and unfair. The objective is to get as much food in your food pouch at the end of the game. Though of note is the fact that food goes into the pouch after you've eaten it — but for some reason the game didn't see fit to describe it as the poo pouch, or as I'd call it, the poouch. You have to add traits, body size and population among your species in order to accomplish this. Some critters can become carnivores in which case the others need to evolve defences or the ability to run away if they are not to become someone else's poo. You can even make one of your species a carnivore and have it eat one of your others! By the end of the first turn though I realised just what kind of game it is as Luke evolves a "hard shell" and Sam becomes "fertile." One can only assume that their species are, respectively, birds and bees. Tortoise-birds, I guess.
Primordial soup
Curse your sudden but primordial betrayal!
We always knew it, Sam.
Heheh. Hard.
Well, let us scrape together an account of Arctic Scavengers. It was my first time playing this deck builder that takes place in a typical post-apocalyptic nuclear winter or something. Your goal is simply to accrue as much population as you can, which is achieved by recruiting new people to your cause. There are three ways of acquiring new cards: digging through rubbish (which can turn up tools and assorted junk, but not people), directly recruiting people from the pool available to everyone, and fighting your opponents for a powerful card unknown to everyone except one player. Each card contributes some amount to zero or more actions: digging, recruiting, fighting and also drawing more cards from your deck. If a person has a particular ability, they can be given a tool to enhance it, as well.
Available cards for scavengin'
Tim considers his options.
Thankfully there aren't too many so we
weren't waiting that long ;)
Whatever cards you don't use on your turn are saved and then, at the end of the round, all are revealed and whoever has the most fighting ability wins the secret card: though to contribute, tools must be attached to a person and a person can't use more than one tool at once. The various ability scores cap quite low, so it's not likely for someone to get an unassailable advantage, but as you start upgrading your cards you do gain quite a bit — Ewan was able to handily defeat everyone else in the end-of-round fights by the end of the game. This set him up for a clear win, as many of the rewards from the fights are cards with massive population numbers (up to 5 compared to 1 for most regular cards). Having only played one game it's difficult to tell what alternative strategies are available — I don't see how you can win without doing well at the fights since they give you such large bonuses. However to win them you do have to set aside cards to win which you could be using to recruit cards with known strengths. You are prevented from really shooting for any single strategy though because you can only do each action once per turn — so if you stack up on cards which allow you to recruit you're going to be disappointed when a future hand allows you to dig ten times but you can still only keep one of the resulting cards. This is great for a deck-building moron such as myself but might frustrate people who are good at them and enjoys picking a particular strategy. In the end I came joint second with Eliza, which I consider quite respectable due to the aforementioned moronitude, although I think Eliza was a bit miffed about being caught in the crossfire of such self-deprecation — sorry!
And that's all I got! Catch you next time, gamers!

Friday, 1 September 2017

Instagram

There's now a NoBoG instagram you can go check out amongst the other social media type places you can hang out for your fix of NoBoG.

Your NoBoG social media life has never been so full !

If you're on mobile you can find the links in the drop down nav below the logo. If you're not on mobile you'll see 'em over on the right.

Or just go check out the instagram thinger right here !


Wednesday, 9 August 2017

Review - A Dog's Life

NoBoG was recently sent a review copy of A Dog's Life to give a whirl of and see what we thought of it. First up to give it a try was Sean and Gemma - and Sean has written us a lovely review of their time with the game.

I've also given this game a run through and was impressed with the gorgeous quality of the art and pieces, and the gameplay itself is funny with plenty of room for dog impressions, barking at fellow players across the table and some devilish moves with strategic pee placement. How many games have an element of strategic pee placement ?!

Matt has also offered to give the game a whirl with his family - and hopefully we'll get his thoughts at some point too !

But for now, over to Sean :
 


A Dog's Life: Is it a dogs dinner or has this dog had his day ? 


So me and my girlfriend Gemma went to play A Dog's Life that was graciously sent to NoBoG by Ksenia. We have both played A Dog's Life video game and as we both have a love of dogs we thought we'd try it out.
The Doggos


Opening the board game and seeing the components and popping them out I was in bliss. Pee markers ? Yes please. Bones ? Yes please. Being a female dog dressed up to the nines ? I think I went to Doggy Heaven !
A Dog's Life ready for doggos


So let's give the more important points of the game. The idea of the game is to bury 3 bones before your opponent does. This can be achieved by delivering newspapers, begging at restaurants, and dining out at trash cans. While this is going on you have to make sure that you aren't sent to the pound or that your items aren't stolen by another evil treacherous dog. It's a dog eat dog world, what can I say ?
Fully fed and ready to pee !


Ideally the best ways to mitigate these threats are by moving away from the dogcatcher and by marking your territory. Marking your territory means that your opponent has to stop in the middle of his/her turn because of the inevitable pull of another dogs scent in liquid form. These threats are more prominent with more than two players but I felt that the dogcatcher was slowly pulling towards me.

He did , but not in the way I thought. In being so busy collecting bones and running away from the catchers my poor dog Daisy ended up collapsed in an alleyway, taken by those nefarious dogcatchers.

This is the only moment I was scratching my paws though as I checked the rulings that said that dogs do not go hungry in the pound. I think this needs more clarification. Does this mean the starvation counter goes to full ? or does it mean the dog doesn't automatically starve when it leaves the pound ? I played the latter but some clarifications in the rulebook would be nice. ( Editor note - it does actually state in the rules that when released from the pound you get 1 pee and full food, the rule could probably be better placed however ).
Pee domination !


So I think I will get to the Bones of the matter and not flesh it out too much more. A Dogs Life, is it a good game ? Yes it is. Is it a game that I would recommend for 2 player ? Probably not , even though we technically did it incorrectly, I wouldn't want to play with 3 dogs instead of 1. Could this change from being a good game to a great one ? I think so, and I think that some really minor adjustments/ house rules could easily do this. So with no further adu let me say the points I find could be tinkered with a little bit.

  1. The Mangy Mutt: So instead of 3 dogs against 3 for two player, why don't we add in a new variable ? A mangy mutt for 2 player games ? The idea being like the dogcatcher the mangy mutt is controlled by the player on their turn , and is used by that player in order to impede the other players progress. Maybe use 2 die so that the mutts movement could go up to 7 and perhaps have it always fed ?
  2. Dalmatians: I personally love Dalmations they look so cute and adorable. So why not put them in this game ? Is this because the game has to be realistic to the movie or is it due to perhaps patents on specific images ? To be honest I don't know, but having dalmations in the game would be really cool ! 
  3. More Bones please? This is the only true gripe with the board game , and it can be so easily remedied. The game is a medium size game with multiple components to set up in order to start the game, and yet that game is only 40 minutes long for 2 players. Because this goes so quickly the question is why would I take 20 minutes preparing a game to play for 40 minutes when there are many fillers out there that would take a much shorter time to prepare ? The truth is I wouldn't, but do not fret since I have a solution. Just have the number of bones needed to win change for the number of players you have ! This would be similar to love letters so would therefore fill out the time making the game more immersive. Maybe put the number of bones needed to 5 or 6 for 2 players 

Aftermath

So after everything I have said do I think anyone should play this game ?` Yes, but be warned this game will turn you into a dog! We walked back home after the game and I found that all dogs were really nice to me. It was as if I truly was a dog, but is a dog's life truly for me ? I don't think I will ever know the answer to this question readers, while I wait by this lamppost that smells a little bit funny. In general though , you should play the game at least once. The components are fantastic, the theme and the rules are fun. It just needs a little push in the right direction. Rating 3/5 Bones (Quite literally)

Keeping an eye on the dog catcher
Picture of real pupper for reference - ( one of my (Minitrue's) mutts - Ares )

Sunday, 23 July 2017

The Colonists

The Colonists - Epic Gaming

Everything You Wanted To Know About The Colonists And Then Some

Over the last three weeks at Monday NoBoG I've had a chance to get to close grips with The Colonists.  It announces itself boldly on the game box as "The Epic Strategy Game", and at a play time for us of over 9 hours for a single game, epic is maybe the right word. What's the other word it could be instead of epic ? Oh yes. Long. But that reads less excitingly on the box cover - The Colonists - The Long Strategy Game.


Origin

The Colonists is a game firmly of the Euro style camp, a worker placement production engine builder, released last year by new to the game design scene Tim Puls. His first game design ever, the seed for the idea behind The Colonists started in 2008 when Tim first started to play heavier Euro classics including Agricola. Loving the idea behind the worker placement Build Your Little Production Engine World and taking some nods from the computer scene from things like Civilisation, Tim began to design The Colonists with a clear dislike of anything military or play spoiling and the idea that your workers on your actions shouldn't simply return to you magically after a round but stay where they are, persistent, and only able to move to areas / actions near them.

The Detail

The Colonists is a game where players take on the role of village mayor and must guide their settlement to ever greater heights of development and employment. To achieve this the player will build an assortment of different buildings in their tableau by spending resources, managing those resources carefully between active and non active storage locations, playing development cards to help the colony, allocating worker meeples to staff buildings and finally at the end of a year making sure you have enough sustenance to keep your worker meeples actively employed and not scurrying back to their homes in search of food.

The game space breaks down into two main parts - the first is your tableau where you will manage your village and your resources ( each resource needs a storage spot, there's no unlimited stacking of resources here ! ) , and the second is the shared world called "The Mainland", which is a modular tile based set of actions that your action meeple will wander around to take actions.
An Era 4 Tableau

End of Era 3 Mainland
The game takes place over 4 "eras", each successive era containing its own unique buildings, action spots and development cards with a ramping build cost, sophistication and power. The eras are played back to back, so things you pick up and develop in era 1 could well be along for the ride for the whole game - or if they're the right kind of building maybe they get upgraded into something a bit fancier, or if you start running out of space in your limited space village you might choose to burn them down to building something else.

Each era breaks down into a number of years where additional tiles will get added to the mainland - the pool of actions - your village will produce resources and sustenance demands need to be met. Overall you'll get to take a minimum of 30 actions per era, possibly more up to say 40, depending on your setup. This is pretty much a Euro length game in an of itself per era - 30 meaningful actions ( something like Glass Road has anything between 12 and 40 actions per player per game, Agric has a minimum of 28 actions up to around 52 ish ).

A key aspect of the game is that all meeples are not equal - there are three types of meeple, green farmer/labourer, yellow citizens and red merchants. Each type of meeple is basically a level of sophistication up from the next with increasing requirements of sustenance and building capability. The names are by and large arbitrary and don't reflect the capabilities of each meeple type. During the game you'll find yourself slowly evolving from a simple green meeple economy to a more convoluted and pricey green / yellow meeple economy to finally a tricky to balance green / yellow / red village.
All The Lovely Meeples. The Red Dudes sit at home awaiting jobs.
 The second key aspect is that resources require explicit storage space - each single resource requiring a single space - if you have three food, you're going to need three storage slots. Also, not all storage spaces are equal. Some can be freely used on your action - some you cannot access during your action, but you can move around before an action, and some are one way only storage spaces - production sites that can temporarily house that years production at best, but never be re-used.
Storage - Era 1 and Era 2 Storage here

 The final key aspect to the game is that of the mainland - a modular hex tile board, each tile of which has an action on it that a player can take. Each players action meeple ( or meeples later if you get upgrades ) can wander around adjacent tiles taking the action from each rather like the mechanism in Istanbul. Obviously this has a massive impact on the game - you're not free to simply pick and choose what action you'd like to take, you have to take a series of chained actions, and, depending on how the modular board has been created this can be vastly different from game to game ( or even in game once action spots start giving you the ability to switch any two hex tiles ).
Era 4 Mainland - James has spent most of the game arranging the mainland
in the worst possible way. The Milton Keynes of the Euro world.

The Aim

Victory points. What else ? Your victory points here are going to come from the buildings themselves - minimal points for eras 1 and 2, but these do add up quickly, development cards - minimal again in the overall scheme of things, and finally employed meeples - fairly substantial if you're doing it right.

Getting juicy high point end era buildings in and also staffed by high point red meeples is the killer aim, but affording the exorbitant costs of those buildings and the greedy sustenance requirements of the red meeples is the puzzle of the game - assuming you're playing the whole game.

It should be noted - probably because the game is so long - that there are game variants where you can pick and choose which era(s) you play. This means you can dip your toe in at a complexity level and length of game that suits you, but, at a cost of the game being way less dynamic and a good deal more flat in what you can achieve. I can't really imagine playing say, an era 4 only game - it would be weird and I suspect very dull with everyone having the same setup, and limited time to pick a direction.

The Feel

To me, the game plays like a simplified Caverna with a spin of an Istanbul like central action space that ties you into choosing suitable paths of actions rather than just picking any old action you feel like. The buildings that are placed in your village have the same feel as Caverna - each one doing interesting things and generally providing either space for your worker meeples or production spots for those end of year production phases ( of which you get 5 per era ). This is pretty much the same as Caverna or Agric in that your fields in those games produce food and animals, and there is then a requirement to feed ( and clothe in The Colonists for those damn picky red meeples ) all your dudes. The difference here is that The Colonists production phase can see you pretty much producing all the goods available in the game - wood, clay, bricks, planks and so on - as well as the needed sustenance food, and, the number of worker meeples you have is going to be far far greater than the max of 5 ish you get in Agricola - you're going to be dealing with a dozen or more.
Era 4 tiles awaiting to join the Mainland. James is in charge. It's awful.

Despite the increased production breadth in The Colonists and the number of worker meeples you are pushing around, there doesn't seem to be a particular uptick in the complexity required in managing your tableau. By and large once something is in your village it tends to stay and just keep on doing its thing - with maybe an upgrade or two to keep it efficient.

The game is interesting in a Euro management kind of way, there's plenty to do and look at, and the paths to get where you are headed are fairly diverse - but overall it doesn't seem to make too much odds how you go about things - it doesn't feel like it's a game where you can get a runaway leader and then have to sit there for the next 9 hours watching said runaway leader preen over how good their efficiency is. Is the game just busy work then with a series of hobsons choices ? It doesn't feel like that - the choices about how you build your world are interesting, I just think there is no super bad course you can take here - the game is not punishing, and just about everything you do is going to help.
This Years market actions. You get five of these per era. 40 in all. Zoiks !
 The pain point in the game is the getting of resources, conversion of resources, storing of resources and then the spending of resources. That's the crucial juggling you'll be doing as you attempt to build better stuffs and keep up with the increasing sophistication of the eras.

It must be said here. The game is long. Very long. It doesn't feel like a waste of time or too much boring downtime - which is quite something as there is an absolute butt load of downtime and there can be some sticky AP moments which just double down on the length.

Overall

The game is cool, very enjoyable if you like your Euro stuffs, is wildly replayable with a modular tile mainland that guarantees almost a unique pattern of actions every game, and a variable card deck and limited choice of powerful Ambassadors in setup. It has no huge game breaking flaws mechanically, scratches a Euro production engine itch, and because of its length and scope is probably the most Euro productiony thing you're going to play. But, that's not because its a super crunchy and clever production engine game. It's just that you're going to be doing a fairly standard production enginey thing for 9 hours. Quantity. Not quality.

The game kept my attention and interest, and some of the core mechanics are interesting and cool - the persistent wandering meeple is a lovely twist on the typical pick whatcha like Euro mechanic, indeed the whole mainland thing is interesting with its variable market action that changes every year, and you'd think that this aspect of the game has legs to be pushed into other games.

But the game does have problems. Possibly one killer problem. And the design some seem to suffer from a lack of editing, something of a kitchen sink mentality and a lack of elegance.

Problem ?

There are a number of small problems with the game which feel like they are a victim of this being a My First Game I Designed issues and no strong editorial voice cutting the game where it needed some pruning.

But the kick ass arguably show stopping problem for this game is its length. Length and what you get for your time investment.

Time

The box reckons the game is between 30 minutes and 6 hours in length. But by now we all know that box game length times lie. Our four player game, excluding setup and rules, took us 9 hours to complete. Eras 1 and 2 came in at over 3 hours for the pair together, Era 3 on its own was around 3 hours, and era 4 a similar amount of time.

At 9 hours in play, sitting down to this game with a full table is daunting. This is not going to be a game you slam out regularly for a gaming session - this is going to be a full on reserve a day and settle in for the long haul. Even if you split play up over multiple sessions, the commitment will then be more akin to a short roleplay campaign than a simple board game night !

And what do you get for your 9 hours ?

You get Caverna. Played maybe three times over back to back.

First you get to build your village with green meeple buildings - and no sustenance cost.

Then you get to do it over again, this time with yellow meeples and yellow buildings, this time with your more traditional, one food per meeple sustenance cost.

And then you get to do it again with your red meeples and red buildings, with a pricey two food and one clothing cost.

The buildings interleave and upgrade, so you'll have a mix of green, yellow and red by the end, but make no mistake, the mechanics are the same - the costs rise, the capabilities go up, but you're doing the same problem solving three times over.
3.5 hours in, End of Era 2. My first yellow dudes have turned up.

Which is perhaps a clue as to why the game takes 9 hours to play. That and the fact that by game end you'll have taken at a minimum a gut busting 120 actions, and in all probability the action count will more likely be up around 140 actions. You'll also have overseen a massive 20 production and sustenance cycles.

Compare and contrast something like Agric. 6 sustenance and production cycles.45 ish actions. Which just so happens to be approximately a third of the numbers of The Colonists. Coincidence ? Hell no !

So. It's three Euro games. Stuck in one.

But yeah, think of the awesome unique production euro-ness and the heights of efficiency joy you get with 9 hours to craft your vision.

Except you don't. Maybe there's a finite limit to Euro Production Joy. Maybe its the fact that you're repeating the same schtick for 9 hours. But whatever it is, for me, The Colonists does not produce three times the Euro goodness of Other Things. For me it produces the same amount of Euro goodness of Other Things. But at three times the length.

Meh. I mean ok. It's not terrible. But now combine that with "and when the hell am I going to get time or convince anyone else to sit down to a 9 hour game of Resource Shuffle (TM)". And you have a problem.

I like the game. I am very glad I played it - I had fun. I feel no need to ever play it again. Ever.

So that's the time issue. What else ?

Resource Finagling

The storage issues in the game are just a pain in the ass. And not an exquisite pain in the ass like the panic of trying to feed yourself in Agricola and avoiding the shame of the begging card, but more a pain in the ass like, wow, this is entirely unnecessary and fiddly.

The game makes a deal of having only some of your storage areas accessible to use goods in an action. The other areas are off limits. You are free to switch goods around before an action - but not during. In this way it kinda makes sure you cant spend all your goods in a single action. Its limiting you to how many things you can build or convert in a single action. But oh boy. The fiddlyness of this is just meh. One of the areas - a warehouse - contains a single, SINGLE resource slot. Which is about as useful as a chocolate teapot. If you're lucky and diligent you might get this up to as much as five slots by game end ( by contrast, a single storage hall at this point can hold 12 items, and you have potentially three of them plus an extra three slot area, making a total of 39 items ).
Extra Storage. All three spaces. Three. Woo. A sad single ore is next door.

The ratio of this warehouse to usable space is minimal. And only exacerbated by the fact that, oh my, so long as its before an action, you can freely switch this shit around anyway.
Era 4 - my storage is still stuck around Era 3. No time to get better.


Which very quickly makes you beg the question - why the hell is this in the game. It serves bugger all purpose. Apart from adding extra rules and extra fiddlyness for the sake of it.

If you wanted to limit how many things someone can do on an action - rather than arse around with usable and non usable storage, simply state the limit on the action - no more than three times, two times, whatever. Indeed the game already has this concept in place for single use activation - you can only do this once. The game should clearly have just ditched the fiddly resource shuffling and stuck in build limits - elegant, quicker, no pain ( less time !! ).

Limited player interaction.

The game plays like a solo multiplayer. Even when you've not got a card in that entirely eliminates all interaction between players, the interaction is almost nil. The only interaction is someone must pay to use an action spot someone else is standing on. Exactly like Istanbul. But in The Colonists the chances of you tripping over each other at exactly the same time with exactly the same plan are minimal to non existant. Whereas Istanbul has 16 action spaces of which maybe half are not reasonable relevant at any point, The Colonists can have 60 spaces ! Imagine Istanbul with 60 spaces, and then see how many times you land on each other.

Solo multiplayer doesn't sound so bad - no one can mess with my ideal setup. Sure. For 9 hours ? At this point you might as well lock yourself in your garden shed for a day, play the game, then compare notes with everyone else ! Table camaraderie and socialising is a key aspect to how palatable this game is. Because the game certainly isn't going to give you anything.

Learning Curve

There's a learning curve to the game. What's an optimum number of green workers. When should you start pushing for Ore. How much food is a good number for end game ? Pubs. Yay or nay ?
Building two pubs. A good idea ? I'll let you know in 9 hours
Unless you're the kind of gamer that likes sitting down before ever punching the bits and number crunching the rules to get some kind of game plan - or possibly just cheating and reading what someone has to say on the internets - then this game has a learning curve like pretty much every other Euro of, oh, This Is A Good Idea Right Now, And Thats Really Not.

Which is fine.

But at 9 hours, getting a good grasp of that learning curve is less of a gaming experience, and more of a life choice. Yes. I Have Dedicated Myself To Mastering The Colonists. In my spare time I have a career and earn money.

It's perhaps not a big deal particularly if everyone is just learning as you go, or some very helpful experienced soul nudges you occasionally, but again, finding out that your plan to massively invest in
Snake Oil Lol This Doesnt Do Shit Really But Its Kinda Been Left In The Game Anyway was bullshit after 9 hours of play is going to be, I imagine, somewhat deflating. Fortunately there isn't really anything in the game thats a Big Mistake, but you can definitely mis-step and either under provision or over provision for stuff that never really happens ( James and his Cunning Plan of developing Powers so he never had to pay anyone for action spots springs to mind - it was basically a waste of time ).

RNG

The RNG in the game is pretty acceptable. By and large it's not a huge surprise, you can see things coming, and it just injects interest in the game rather than table flipping bullshittery. That being said. Some things like the development cards can be at one end of the scale an entire waste of time, and at the other super powerful. One card that James picked up in the powerful end game set of development cards was literally - gain one coal. The prize for naughty children at Christmas. And in game terms worth about the same thing. The problem is that achieving anything in The Colonists takes quite a bit of prep. Hauling your meeples ass out to pick up cards then hauling it back across the board two turns later to play the card is a pain in the ass effort. Picking up a card that says Ha Ha You Loser on it, and watching the next player pick up, Everything You Do From Now On Costs Nothing is somewhat shit. Then again perhaps its part of the balance of the cards - its something of a risk. But again, after 9 hours of this shit, everything becomes a little more .... sensitive in design terms.

And Everything Else

Theres a number of minor issues throughout the game. The largely pointless busy work with tools ( you need tools to build stuff, you produce them every turn, after 9 hours of gameplay no one at the table ever had a problem with their supply whatsoever - what the hell is the point of this goddamn extra piece of resource crap that is never a supply problem in the first place ! ), the oddly pointless green meeples ( they cost nothing to support, they get you 1vp if employed, well crap, shall we just  remove them entirely from the game and assume green buildings are powered and get you an extra vp ?! ) . Timing seems to be rather wacky in the game as well. By the time final era storage spaces are available, you'd be an idiot to build them instead of building something rather more points fancy - and if you do build them, you're likely not going to have a chance to utilise them. Unless they come out super early - and even then, limited usability. A lot of stuff seems to be like this - odd timing issues with the whole game.
Green and Yellow Economy ! Era 3 ish.

You could do much in the game so much more elegantly, reduce bit count, reduce time , reduce fiddly.

The game is badly in need of a ruthless editor.

Or another game needs to come out which takes some of the nice concepts from this game, and chops it down to some reasonable length.

Summary

I've given The Colonists a good kicking here. Ambushed it in a dark alleyway and proceeded to beat the living snot out of it. But it's all in love really. The game is very playable, enjoyable, and I think every serious Euro gamer needs to play this at least once. Maybe twice ( more than this is madness or a life path choice imo ). The game is going to be the most productiony Euro game you play, it IS epic because it's three Euros in one, back to back, over 9 hours of play, and you get to wear the I've Played The Colonists Survivor T Shirt.

It's a nice effort from Tim Puls. But hopefully, when he does his next game, his excitement about including Absolutely Everything Ever and making Everyone Play It For The Longest Time Ever will have receded and something a bit more elegant will hit the table.


Monday, 17 July 2017

Cows & Cows & Board Games



HULLOOOOOOOOOOOO! I'm writing this from the magic of a train, which means I keep getting distracted by cows. Typically the cows are in the fields rather than on the train. The train has just reversed direction at Ely and I'm now facing the wrong way, which I'm rather miffed at. Anyway. This is a NoBloG not a travel diary, I suppose. This week I'll be sending you missives regarding Plague Inc, Trajan, Camel Up, Sons of Anarchy, Plague Inc (again) and Adrenaline. Ooh look, horses.

First let's conquer the world the infectious way in Plague Inc, which is apparently so good that two separate groups of people were marching (in boots carrying foot-and-mouth, no doubt) their microscopic minions across the globe this week. Let's start with the front-room group, which was already pretty infected when I arrived. As I draw up, Matt fails his roll (his disease still being pretty pathetic so he only had a one-in-six chance) — disappointing for him because in his words "it would have pissed Lewis and JD off" if he'd got it. He is, however, the filthiest of all the players at this point, having acquired soe bonus infectiousness along the way which has bagged him a presence in a bunch more countries. Why are we going so slowly? Hey — dragonflies. Lewis on his turn talks a little excursion to Argentina then (paradoxically, in my view) gains cold resistance. But he wants to take one of those fashionable breaks in Iceland so it makes sense. With his low lethality he also is unable to succeed in his rolls to kill the countries he's managed to break out all over.
Thumbs up for disease!
Disease points
In the second game of Plague Inc — Sean tells me there had to be two "just because we wanted to kill everyone!" — Sean and Jake have a comfortable lead but are battling bitterly for first place. As this is being explained, Katherine is deliberating: "I just can't decide where to infect now!" But after having made up her mind picks up a mega-bonus which might throw the final tally, so confidently expressed mere moments ago, into doubt. I leave after being given cause to doubt the players' understanding of basic biology the advice is given, "remember you can't infect Kenya! They have diplomatic immunity." After a short pause it is pointed out that just regular old immunity immunity would probably suffice.
Because obliterating humanity once
is not enough.

Next up I have a look at a suitably imperious Trajan where it seems the eponymous emperor has been replaced by a Great Old One — one of the lesser-known dictators of the Roman Empire. John is getting confused about which place he's in, pretending to be last when actually not. All part of the meta-gaming strategy to get his opponents to go easy on him. Alfie is actually winning, whilst Pete insists they're all winning — awwww. However Pete actually has loads of bonus actions lined up so maybe he too is trying to divert attention. After all this motivational muttering, John still seems sad but nevertheless takes a bonus to hammers (or something, I'm just going by the symbol on the card. A bonus for do more break smash sounds good though.) Also this synergises with his end-game bonus (which unlike in a lot of games, are public information.) I leave them to work out who is winning the old-fashioned way — by playing the game to the end — and to their fate with the Ancient Horror.
Trajically Trajan. Tragic because
everyone's gone mad with terror.

Next up it's Camels. Which are also up. I've got no idea what's going on — they seem to be humping each other, and it's not even past the watershed. I am scandalised. When I enquire about what is actually happening, Ellie informs me that "it's a complete disaster" — presumably because she is not doing as well as she hoped. At this point accusations start flying: "that's cheating! You didn't get what you want and you rolled it again!" says Katie. Ellie retorts that she "rolled it wrong," which is an excuse I really would like to try in the future. Katie on the other hand is upset because "everyone was against me." "That's because you're winning." Amid much scrutiny due to the aforementioned incident, Dan rolls his die very carefully and with a touch of flourish, but I don't think it helped. I didn't learn anything about the rules but the game involves high emotions and a lot of swearing so it's probably good.
Oh my.
Woof. This doesn't have anything to do with
board games but who's gonna complain?!
The game of Sons of Anarchy seems disappointingly orderly and calm. Dave nevertheless asserts that it's caused such anger that the table has descended into gang violence, though I think he's getting confused between the game and reality again. Dave has three contrabands (i.e. cocaines). Contraband (cocaine) you can sell for cold hard cash (money) which is probably good. Dave then promotes a guy to have a bike. I thought that it was rather iniquitous to have gang members cycling around but apparently he got a motorbike which is probably more thematically appropriate. James on the other hand has no money at all but an absolute ton of cocaine — presumably piled up in some kind of parody of Scarface. Then a fight breaks out. No, in the game, not in real life. Both parties secretly commit a certain number of gang members and perhaps some guns, and roll dice. The total strength determines the winner, and bringing guns to what is no longer a knife fight also kills off some of the opponent's fighters.
Anarchy in the Mash Tun
Money! Drugs!
And now if I may get your Adrenaline pumping I will describe the game I played. Though I've left writing this up longer than normal and been distracted by a lot of farm animals so the details are getting a bit fuzzy. I'm pretty sure Benjamin was the sheep... Anyway the game started as it usually does with a scramble for the good weapons. I ended up with a Power Glove (run at people and punch them in the face), a Heat Seeking Missile and the localised area-of-effect Shockwave. In retrospect I probably should have found myself a medium-range weapon as positioning became very difficult — I either wanted to be right in people's faces or as far away as possible. As the game's mechanics tend to ensure, everyone got killed a similar number of times, not that being killed really does anything bad to you anyway. James zipped around the map using his Cyberblade (which allows you an extra move after you whallop someone with it) while Colin somehow avoided getting shot for ages.
Rarrr, kill 'em all!
Once the end-game phase was triggered, Colin and I had also managed to forget to actually kill anyone — Benjamin and James being the only two to have done so. Colin also unfortunately misunderstood the end-game and thought he would have an extra turn, missing out on the possibility of getting some last-minute points. As it happened if he had done so he might have inadvertently handed me the victory instead of James. The result of my ridiculous length of time trying to work out how to kill Benjamin was "you can't," requiring one more point of damage than I was able to do. In the end I came joint second, so that was OK. I've played Adrenaline 3 times now and I'm still not entirely sure what I think. It's definitely fun but it seems to be missing something — you're basically only ever trying to do damage — whether to finish someone off, to get more damage on someone before they die, or to get damage on someone new. With some more tactical options it might have a bit more depth — if there were some incentive to not take damage other than giving points, or an effective way to block other players from hitting a particular enemy. I also wonder if the action limit could be made a little more lenient without making it too easy — you can never do what feels like a "complete turn" because you typically want to move, pick up ammo or a new gun, get into position and then shoot someone, but you can generally only do two or three of these. I call on NoBoGgers to make it so!
Contemplative Colin.
Adrenaline gets pumping.
And that was the week — shooting, camels, more shooting, Cthulhu and everywhere the terrible spectre of disease. And more cows, right there in that field. Hope you've enjoyed, BYE!