Game Night - Take That. Robbie's Revenge

🕑 8 min read

It's Game Night once again! Plus, Take That has gotten the band back together for one night of unbridled back-stabbery, and 'board game sanctioned' revenge. Yes, strap yourself in for the brutal, beautiful and recently re-released Spiel des Jahres winner from Nointy-Nointy-Six - El Grande. For the purposes of this post, all player's names have been changed to protect the King. We must protect the King!

It was a cold December Tuesday evening and the pub was packed to the rafters with 30+ NoBoGlins hungry for entertainment. They got it. We all got it. After the evening's introductions which included a new Board Game Bingo seasonal event being launched, 5 of us squared off to play one of the most bloody games in board gaming history. No, we're not playing a life sized Jenga tower, capable of crushing your sleeping uncle after Christmas lunch. We were of course playing the legendary El Grande, designed by serial games designers, Woflgang Kramer and Richard Ulrich.

As we sat down across from one another, it became apparent that two(!) members of Take That had brought along this exact same game. Here to settle old scores this evening were, to my right; the previously shunned Robbie, then Gary, Mark, Jason (the game owner), and me, why not.

The rules explanation was handled professionally by both Jason and Robbie. Unfortunately my attention was too easily diverted away from 'rules' by a colourful board, and the beautiful cardboard tower looming in the corner. Everyone was smiling and in high spirits. Very strange. I though we were here to declare war.

The Tower of Mystery

Game turns in El Grande comprise of a very straight forward set of actions. Once turn order has been established, each player plays (face-up) one of the 13 numbered cards from their hand. The cards are numbered 1-13. The higher the number, the earlier you will pick up one of the 5 unique draft-able action cards, which drive the game forwards. The lower the number, the more troops (meeples) you can enlist from your supply in readiness to place onto the gorgeous map of medieval Spain. The player with the lowest numbered card also becomes the first player, next turn. The game is broken into 3 consecutive rounds of 4 turns each. Scoring phases happen at the end of each round. Ultimately, the aim is to score victory points by occupying territories (worker placement style) in Spain, shifting troops from one place to another, right up until the scoring phases happen. Then whoever has the most meeples in one territory, wins some victory points. Some territories offer varied consolation prizes for both 2nd and 3rd places, sometimes they don't. There is also a huge tower to drop troops in, secretly accumulating meeples, until it too is scored! A powerful bonus is up for grabs by winning the 'tower' game, because during a scoring phase, each Grandes (player's) meeples contained in the tower are unceremoniously dumped onto one territory of their choice, BEFORE the end of round scoring begins. Ooo it's spicy. 

The Sparkly King does his walk

Ok. So, there is a lot of toing and froing going on as the Grandes vie for area majority of profitable territories. During the game, placing and removing of troops is massively hindered and empowered by where the King is (a huge, glitzy gold wooden meeple), which is moved each turn by the player who takes the 'King' action card. The game is brutal, and not just because having a majority of meeples in a territory is as fleeting and fickle as love itself. One minute, you might think you're getting married, but in the next second, you are splitting your board game collection with them and arguing over who gets Scout. WE ALL HAVE SCOUT!!  Get over it, please.

The 5 actions cards which are drafted by players in turn order, allow them to deploy meeples, move meeples from one territory to another, and move other players meeples into or AWAY from territories you control. If that wasn't enough chaos and heart break for you evil doers... some action cards allow you to relocate the King, thus freezing all meeple movements in that territory. Finally, a Grande with an insatiable blood lust, could just 'assassinate' a whole swathe of enemy troops (meeples), sending them back to their supply. Ouch. There is so much more to this game than I've just explained above, however, it's time to get back to the game at hand... 

First player up, was Robbie, with a real mission to rub everyone's noses in their flourishing solo career, immediately took the King action. They deployed a whole bunch of their meeples into a high scoring territory, and then slid the King onto it. Thus, stopping all additional movements both in and out of the space. This was bad enough, however Robbie had also managed to imprison the majority of Gary's troops in a territory which they could not possibly prosper from... pretty much destroying Gary's 1st, 2nd and possibly 3rd turns. After the first 4 turns, Robbie was riding high with an excess of 20 points. Mark, Jason and I were close (not close) behind, and Gary was bottom of the charts.. with zero points. It was a first round massacre. Game over? Not yet.... 

It's not over Gary. Ok. Now it is. 

Robbie continued moving further ahead in round two, with Mark a close 2nd. Jason and I were trading 3rd and 4th places with each other. By the time it got to the closing few turns of round 2, I had begun to formulate a new strategy; draft a large number of new meeples into my court, and set myself up for a lucrative final turn, with first player privilege. This would have been a great plan, however Robbie, 'Robbie'd' my territories, even though I was clearly going into the final round in last position. It's really hard not to take this game personally, but Robbie was on a Rob-page, and I kept my cool. Unfortunately for Robbie though, Gary had declared war on them, as revenge for the first round shenanigans. Which was met with a lot of gas lighting... and probably the best quote of the evening, from Robbie:

"You know what Gary, I think we got off on the wrong foot here...." 

This of course was the understatement of the century, and normally those kinds of remarks would come from my mouth... with a cheeky grin I might add. This game was going nuclear. If you look up the meaning of war in the Oxford English Dictionary, you might find a portrait of Gary grimacing at Robbie, playing El Grande.

Prince Mark of Spain

Mark, the silent assassin, was diligently infiltrating the most valuable properties, and scoring plenty of 2nd and 3rd place rewards. Mark didn't particularly upset anyone, even when provoked. Personally, I think they played the most diplomatic game of the session. Jason, I believe, had relegated themselves to 3rd place quite early on. They played for the fun and enjoyment, and regularly popped up to give someone a bloody nose, just to remind us that they were still playing. Gary passed me on the score tracker several occasions, and we were fighting for last and 4th places. Then, I changed strategy again. I decided, that I wanted to give Gary some help (to my detriment), in the hopes that they might rally both Mark and Jason to work closer with one another to undermine Robbie's solo carer. I mean Robbie's winning position.

At first, it didn't work very well. Gary decided to use their new uplift in points and creative ideas to beat on Robbie some more (good), but Mark and Jason did not follow suit (bad). In fact, Mark sided with Robbie more often than not, in the hopes of consolidating their 2nd place, keeping them as close to Robbie as possible. Quite clever, and not easily manipulated.

Eventually, however, my machinations bared some fruit. The dysfunctional pop band gradually began to rob Robbie of some territory rewards, and used their drafted action cards to efficiently protect themselves against the 'sledge hammer' tactics employed by Robbie, so successfully. Or in other words, doing a 'Robbie'. The results of which meant that Mark closed in on Robbie's lead and I actually did set myself up for a profitable final round.

My strategy was not to make any more enemies so close to the end of the game, and take risks on certain properties, leaving myself open to being taken advantage of. The danger with this strategy is exactly that. Because there are so many ways to rob other players of scoring victory points, it feels like a menacing victory point buffet of both pain and pleasure. Meaning, some players may simply make inefficient or emotional plays which may adversely affect you, purely by accident, or coincidence. 

Tight closing scores. 110/106/100/96/87

The final scores came in at the end and it was actually quite close. Robbie, the Hammer of Spain, won with 110 points. Mark, the Prince of Spain came 2nd with 106 points. I managed to reach 100 points, Jason came 4th with 96 points and poor Gary never fully recovered from the first round massacre with 87 points. 

What just happened? Well, Robbie decided to forgo ALL pleasantries and like a fox being let loose in a hen house, they turned Gary's game (and to a lesser extent mine) into a coop full of blood soaked feathers and body parts. Total destruction. 

Mark, played at a similar pace all the way through. Precise, non-confrontational, unassuming, small calculated gains and wins. A potential winning formula to be sure. In one particular move, Mark benefited from a well placed King pawn move and earned a serious amount of victory points, JUST as a scoring phase came up.

I had been out-played early on, and when I regathered my senses for a fight back, this happened to be the time that I was kicked around like a school-yard football. Thus my plans were only partially realised as a result - particularly in round 2. I eventually settled for less efficient moves and plays, which were designed to cause friction between my opponents. Hoping to remove me from the  line of fire long enough to change my fortunes. Who knows... maybe I could spark a war between the leading pair of Grandes?

Jason, I felt, had been caught in a losing position early on too. However, they decided to plough on as best they could, and attempt to secure a solid 'middle' ground position. Jason had a great distribution of troops across Spain, but failed to utilise turn order as well as the rest of us. Ultimately, this led them to rely more heavily upon the luck of opportunities given, rather than opportunities created.

Finally, Gary. Poor Gary. Their first few turns and round, was almost a complete write-off, thanks to Robbie. These first few moves secured both the winner and the loser of our game. Gary eventually found some creative tactics to cause damage and raise themselves up to 3rd position at one point. However, they were unable to hold back their rage at Robbie and failed to consolidate that position for long enough. They did however, manage to control their turn order in such a way to cause maximum discomfort to the rest of us Grandes. What. A. Game.

If like me, you don't really enjoy many take-that mechanisms in your board games, then let me give you some hope for the future, in particular for playing El Grande. Most take-that mechanisms appear to be unavoidable, punishing actions which do little to help with your own immediate progression. They are designed (in the most part) to hold back your competitors; rather punitively, I might add. 

El Grande is different. Yes it's brutal, yes it's punishing... but the actions are so clearly informed by your own needs and desires, that it is HARD to blame another player if you happen to be the victim of a blood bath. Hard, but not impossible.

This game lends itself to experience, diplomacy, manipulation and a sharp tactical mind. Of course being flexible is advantageous but without a good plan to start with, you may as well just be having fun playing 'king maker' for your opponents amusement. You never know, perhaps one turn they may cut you some slack... but don't bet on it. This is El Grande, after all. 

Even though I can't wait to play this game again, we do not foresee Take That reforming for one more gig (rematch).. but never say never. Emotions were raw and feelings were hurt - but in a good way. The second best quote came after the game from the lead victimised Grande himself, Gary:

"I love it when I can spend an entire evening having my ass handed to me, and still have a great time."

Have a great gaming night yourself, and yes, if you ever get the opportunity, try a game of El Grande. 

Game Night - TAKE THAT and Party?

🕑 8 min read

Hi! Game Night is 'Back for Good'! We're not going to be 'Up All Night', but we are hopeful that it 'Could Be Magic'. For the purposes of this post, all player's names have been changed to protect the victims of both sharks and pirates.

This, was our first Tuesday evening game night of September, and it brought to us another 25(ish) NOBOGlins. After briefly catching up with Gary, I decided that I was going to join in with them and play Libertalia: Winds of Galecrest. Never played it before. Heard a lot of good things. We're all going to be SKY PIRATES! 

After the usual WHADIYOB introductions, we found ourselves with 6, yes SIX players!! OMG... this was going to be an amazing evening, I think 'I Found Heaven'. 

Let's GOOO!!

This game looked impressive, and easily spread out over our huge table. Gary initially warned us that our game might take over an hour; before efficiently ploughing onto explaining the rules. On my left was Howard, Mark, Jason, then Robbie, and finally Gary (on my right). It turns out that a few of us were "old salt" and had played before... not me though.

What a table of riches!

Libertalia: Winds of Galecrest is a fairly recent re-print (and re-publishing) of an older and much loved 2012 version. In case you haven't played before, the cut and thrust of this game revolves around every player starting with the same hand of 6 cards (crew members), drawn from a pool of 40. Then we simultaneously choose one, play it, reveal it, and then deal with them in initiative order. Each crew card also has a unique power which affects the game in lots of cool and interesting ways too. The aim is to collect as many of the valuable loot tokens as possible, whilst avoiding relics which normally penalise you. Plus; force opponent's crew members to walk the plank (die), using your unique crew powers, thus hindering others and helping you to your villainous victory. The pirate with the most loot wins. Sounds easy...right?

My first wake up call that something might be rotten in the state of Demark, was being removed from the island (turn order) by another captain's crew powers and by the cutlass loot tokens. Unfortunately, in this game, if you are stymied too many times during a single round, it can prove to be a problem. Hence my first criticism of this game. When playing a 6 player game, a lot of 'out of turn' take-that powers can and and will be deployed. Resulting in bloody-brawls full of highs, lows and the haunting cries of "Please! Not me again!", "I'm not even winning!" and "Why do you HATE ME?!". "Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!! Batten down the hatches ya bilge sucking land lubbers!"

I had been warned prior, that Libertalia was a festival of 'by the skin of your teeth' escapes, brutal put downs, revenge, and of course clever predictions which lead to great plays. Which all sound amazing fun! So why didn't it 'feel' like that to me? Ok, no more review stuff - what actually happened?

Howard and Mark moved quickly into the lead by a good margin, closely followed by Gary. Unfortunately Jason and Robbie  (poor Robbie) got to walk the plank several times during the first round because "dead men tell no tales". I performed poorly by simply tripping myself up and over thinking, only to find my actions were over-ridden, or weaker than expected. However, when it came to round 2, I was beginning to understand what I needed to do, and was grabbing some valuable loot tokens. Yay me. 

Going into the final round, both Howard and Mark were really beginning to pull away. Gary's plans appeared to have paved the way for a great finish, and Jason was gaining good ground too.  Unfortunately for Robbie and I, we had been "scuttled" a few too many times early on to make a serious dent in our deficits. This is part and parcel of a competitive game like this one, and as the game's "scally wags", our inexperience was showing.

Robbie's not a fan. But we love him still. 

I'm not entirely sure, but I may have been witness to some frustrated plays made by Robbie. They began to unleash 'The Flood' on some of us by purposefully selecting the cutlass loot token and began "swabbing the deck" with extreme prejudice. I was here for it. I would have probably hi-fived Robbie if I got chance, but they made a speedy exit after the game (probably to utilise some of their notoriety and pursue a solo career). Suddenly our plucky six-some was now a band of five. Howard won Libertalia, closely followed by Mark. A predictable end, to a 2 hour game.

Afterwards, I was reliably informed that playing Libertalia several times is mandatory for a good time, and I do love me a good time. I enjoyed the table banter, and yes, I do look forward to giving it another go in the future.  

Next game please!

Fantasy Realms, one of my favourite short (filler) games. 5 players went into this game, and 3 of us had played it before. It's a super fast hand management and set collection game which has the tendency to end way too fast. Rome wasn't built in a day, but a Fantasy Realm can be built in 20 minutes. 

Each player is dealt a hand of 7 face-down cards. When it is your turn, you simply either pick a card from the remaining deck, or pick a face-up card from the discard pile. You may only have 7 cards, so you have to discard one before the turn moves on to the next player. All discarded cards are arranged face-up on the table, and when there are 10 cards left discarded on the table, the game ends immediately! How you decide which card to pick up, what to keep and the one to discard is all based on the strength of the hand you currently have. The idea is to build the most valuable (strongest) fantasy realm before the world ends. Each card you have has a strength value, and when added together, they become your final total. Some cards work together to multiply up strength, some cards penalise you for having particular cards and of course a few cards penalise you for not having certain other cards. It's a complete mess for new players - but a game plays so fast that it is entirely possible to rush through 2-3 games without even blinking.

Try it. Try blinking. I've already played 3 games of Fantasy Realms. 

After explaining the rules, I let everyone know that a score of over 100 was great for first timers, and if you managed to get to 150 then you did very well. Scores of 200 or more were available for experienced players, as knowledge of the deck is key to optimising your hand for a godlike total. 

What a starting might look like

Our winner from last game, Howard, scored an impressive 199 points! Plus Howard managed to make good use of the Gem of Ordering card, which provides massive bonuses for a set of cards in numerical order. Always satisfying when a player manages to do this. Gary and Mark (our first timers) scored well with 135 and 150 points. I remember finding it quite difficult to get anywhere near 150 on my first few attempts - so this was a amazing to see. Jason, who was our other experienced player (with 20 games under their belt) did exceptionally well with a score of 239! However, I managed a rare win by scoring 2 more points, totalling a huge 241, which a BIG number for me - so I was delighted. 

In our last game we all had to endure multiple 'take-that' actions which took their toll on our fragile plans. Fantasy Realms is not particularly known for hostilities. BUT experienced players know when to hold onto certain cards to deny other players big totals, and when to focus on their own burgeoning realms. Jason though, was witness to me picking up the Candle card, which when combined with the Book of Changes, Bell Tower and any one Wizard, adds a massive 100 points to your final score. Unknown to me, was that Jason had the Bell Tower, and decided to hold onto it for the entire game, denying me my bonus 100 points. HOWEVER... what he didn't know was that I had the Mirage card, which can duplicate the Bell Tower.. thus giving me the bonus in the end. I also managed to find the Necromancer which added another card to my hand at the very end just before scoring AND the Collector who added another 40 points for having 4 Wizards. Game over.

NEXT!! 

The Origami artwork is stunning.

Fast becoming one of my favourite short, set collection games, we reached our final game of the evening, the beautiful Sea Salt and Paper with 3 players, Howard, Gary and me. This was my 4th, maybe 5th play, and I still hadn't quite worked out how to defeat others yet. I do love it though. Simply, each player has an option of either picking 2 cards from a face-down deck, discarding one, and keeping one for their hand. OR, pick up one of the face-up cards from either of the 2 discard piles. Easy stuff.

As you collect your set of cards you are given opportunities to play pairs of cards face up to score points and gain additional actions from doing so.  For example: have another turn, or blindly pick another face-down card for your hand etc. In this game though, the 'take that' shark/swimmer combo pair was being used profusely. It would appear that blood was in the water again and it was time to 'Pray'. 

This game is played in rounds, and ends when one player reaches 35 points or more. Each round is curtailed by the players themselves. Once you have at least 7 points in your hand combined with any pairs played on to the table, then you can simply call STOP! Everyone counts up their card set values and adds them to their running total. There are a few more rules surrounding this, but I'll save that for an up and coming review. 

In our game, ATTACK was the only form of defence as each player proceeded to plunder the other's
hands; fishing for Mermaid cards and probing for valuable Penguins. In the first round I was shark attacked twice, leaving me with only 3 cards when STOP was called. So, I got a big fat zero. Cue the grumpy face. 

Amongst the very, very funny banter at our table, we also experienced a hilarious situation when Gary picked up 2 cards and immediately played them both as a pair, declaring loudly that he would be using his Shark & Swimmer combo to steal a card from my hand... again. This was a 2-fold mistake. Firstly, you can't pick up 2 cards and play them both in that same turn, you have to discard one first. So, a disappointed Gary pocketed the shark card and discarded the swimmer card. Secondly, I had a shark card in my hand, so of course I picked up the rejected swimmer, and immediately dealt Gary some 'rough justice' with it. It was amazing good fun, and my only regret was that we didn't get to fully finish the game before 'turfing out time' was upon us. In the end we called it a draw... but somehow I lost. Not complaining though, as it was a memorable night. 

This evening was FULL of highs and lows, frustrations and so much 'take-that' that it was difficult 'Holding Back the Tears' sometimes. I may have my criticisms of games which encourage such gratuitous amounts of player smack downs, however, sometimes you gotta 'Get Ready For It', and 'Don't Say Goodbye' too early. 

We will return next week; with more cutlasses and sharks than ever before. Just you wait!