Game Night - Take That. Robbie's Revenge

🕑 8 min read

It's Game Night once again! Plus, Take That has gotten the band back together for one night of unbridled back-stabbery, and 'board game sanctioned' revenge. Yes, strap yourself in for the brutal, beautiful and recently re-released Spiel des Jahres winner from Nointy-Nointy-Six - El Grande. For the purposes of this post, all player's names have been changed to protect the King. We must protect the King!

It was a cold December Tuesday evening and the pub was packed to the rafters with 30+ NoBoGlins hungry for entertainment. They got it. We all got it. After the evening's introductions which included a new Board Game Bingo seasonal event being launched, 5 of us squared off to play one of the most bloody games in board gaming history. No, we're not playing a life sized Jenga tower, capable of crushing your sleeping uncle after Christmas lunch. We were of course playing the legendary El Grande, designed by serial games designers, Woflgang Kramer and Richard Ulrich.

As we sat down across from one another, it became apparent that two(!) members of Take That had brought along this exact same game. Here to settle old scores this evening were, to my right; the previously shunned Robbie, then Gary, Mark, Jason (the game owner), and me, why not.

The rules explanation was handled professionally by both Jason and Robbie. Unfortunately my attention was too easily diverted away from 'rules' by a colourful board, and the beautiful cardboard tower looming in the corner. Everyone was smiling and in high spirits. Very strange. I though we were here to declare war.

The Tower of Mystery

Game turns in El Grande comprise of a very straight forward set of actions. Once turn order has been established, each player plays (face-up) one of the 13 numbered cards from their hand. The cards are numbered 1-13. The higher the number, the earlier you will pick up one of the 5 unique draft-able action cards, which drive the game forwards. The lower the number, the more troops (meeples) you can enlist from your supply in readiness to place onto the gorgeous map of medieval Spain. The player with the lowest numbered card also becomes the first player, next turn. The game is broken into 3 consecutive rounds of 4 turns each. Scoring phases happen at the end of each round. Ultimately, the aim is to score victory points by occupying territories (worker placement style) in Spain, shifting troops from one place to another, right up until the scoring phases happen. Then whoever has the most meeples in one territory, wins some victory points. Some territories offer varied consolation prizes for both 2nd and 3rd places, sometimes they don't. There is also a huge tower to drop troops in, secretly accumulating meeples, until it too is scored! A powerful bonus is up for grabs by winning the 'tower' game, because during a scoring phase, each Grandes (player's) meeples contained in the tower are unceremoniously dumped onto one territory of their choice, BEFORE the end of round scoring begins. Ooo it's spicy. 

The Sparkly King does his walk

Ok. So, there is a lot of toing and froing going on as the Grandes vie for area majority of profitable territories. During the game, placing and removing of troops is massively hindered and empowered by where the King is (a huge, glitzy gold wooden meeple), which is moved each turn by the player who takes the 'King' action card. The game is brutal, and not just because having a majority of meeples in a territory is as fleeting and fickle as love itself. One minute, you might think you're getting married, but in the next second, you are splitting your board game collection with them and arguing over who gets Scout. WE ALL HAVE SCOUT!!  Get over it, please.

The 5 actions cards which are drafted by players in turn order, allow them to deploy meeples, move meeples from one territory to another, and move other players meeples into or AWAY from territories you control. If that wasn't enough chaos and heart break for you evil doers... some action cards allow you to relocate the King, thus freezing all meeple movements in that territory. Finally, a Grande with an insatiable blood lust, could just 'assassinate' a whole swathe of enemy troops (meeples), sending them back to their supply. Ouch. There is so much more to this game than I've just explained above, however, it's time to get back to the game at hand... 

First player up, was Robbie, with a real mission to rub everyone's noses in their flourishing solo career, immediately took the King action. They deployed a whole bunch of their meeples into a high scoring territory, and then slid the King onto it. Thus, stopping all additional movements both in and out of the space. This was bad enough, however Robbie had also managed to imprison the majority of Gary's troops in a territory which they could not possibly prosper from... pretty much destroying Gary's 1st, 2nd and possibly 3rd turns. After the first 4 turns, Robbie was riding high with an excess of 20 points. Mark, Jason and I were close (not close) behind, and Gary was bottom of the charts.. with zero points. It was a first round massacre. Game over? Not yet.... 

It's not over Gary. Ok. Now it is. 

Robbie continued moving further ahead in round two, with Mark a close 2nd. Jason and I were trading 3rd and 4th places with each other. By the time it got to the closing few turns of round 2, I had begun to formulate a new strategy; draft a large number of new meeples into my court, and set myself up for a lucrative final turn, with first player privilege. This would have been a great plan, however Robbie, 'Robbie'd' my territories, even though I was clearly going into the final round in last position. It's really hard not to take this game personally, but Robbie was on a Rob-page, and I kept my cool. Unfortunately for Robbie though, Gary had declared war on them, as revenge for the first round shenanigans. Which was met with a lot of gas lighting... and probably the best quote of the evening, from Robbie:

"You know what Gary, I think we got off on the wrong foot here...." 

This of course was the understatement of the century, and normally those kinds of remarks would come from my mouth... with a cheeky grin I might add. This game was going nuclear. If you look up the meaning of war in the Oxford English Dictionary, you might find a portrait of Gary grimacing at Robbie, playing El Grande.

Prince Mark of Spain

Mark, the silent assassin, was diligently infiltrating the most valuable properties, and scoring plenty of 2nd and 3rd place rewards. Mark didn't particularly upset anyone, even when provoked. Personally, I think they played the most diplomatic game of the session. Jason, I believe, had relegated themselves to 3rd place quite early on. They played for the fun and enjoyment, and regularly popped up to give someone a bloody nose, just to remind us that they were still playing. Gary passed me on the score tracker several occasions, and we were fighting for last and 4th places. Then, I changed strategy again. I decided, that I wanted to give Gary some help (to my detriment), in the hopes that they might rally both Mark and Jason to work closer with one another to undermine Robbie's solo carer. I mean Robbie's winning position.

At first, it didn't work very well. Gary decided to use their new uplift in points and creative ideas to beat on Robbie some more (good), but Mark and Jason did not follow suit (bad). In fact, Mark sided with Robbie more often than not, in the hopes of consolidating their 2nd place, keeping them as close to Robbie as possible. Quite clever, and not easily manipulated.

Eventually, however, my machinations bared some fruit. The dysfunctional pop band gradually began to rob Robbie of some territory rewards, and used their drafted action cards to efficiently protect themselves against the 'sledge hammer' tactics employed by Robbie, so successfully. Or in other words, doing a 'Robbie'. The results of which meant that Mark closed in on Robbie's lead and I actually did set myself up for a profitable final round.

My strategy was not to make any more enemies so close to the end of the game, and take risks on certain properties, leaving myself open to being taken advantage of. The danger with this strategy is exactly that. Because there are so many ways to rob other players of scoring victory points, it feels like a menacing victory point buffet of both pain and pleasure. Meaning, some players may simply make inefficient or emotional plays which may adversely affect you, purely by accident, or coincidence. 

Tight closing scores. 110/106/100/96/87

The final scores came in at the end and it was actually quite close. Robbie, the Hammer of Spain, won with 110 points. Mark, the Prince of Spain came 2nd with 106 points. I managed to reach 100 points, Jason came 4th with 96 points and poor Gary never fully recovered from the first round massacre with 87 points. 

What just happened? Well, Robbie decided to forgo ALL pleasantries and like a fox being let loose in a hen house, they turned Gary's game (and to a lesser extent mine) into a coop full of blood soaked feathers and body parts. Total destruction. 

Mark, played at a similar pace all the way through. Precise, non-confrontational, unassuming, small calculated gains and wins. A potential winning formula to be sure. In one particular move, Mark benefited from a well placed King pawn move and earned a serious amount of victory points, JUST as a scoring phase came up.

I had been out-played early on, and when I regathered my senses for a fight back, this happened to be the time that I was kicked around like a school-yard football. Thus my plans were only partially realised as a result - particularly in round 2. I eventually settled for less efficient moves and plays, which were designed to cause friction between my opponents. Hoping to remove me from the  line of fire long enough to change my fortunes. Who knows... maybe I could spark a war between the leading pair of Grandes?

Jason, I felt, had been caught in a losing position early on too. However, they decided to plough on as best they could, and attempt to secure a solid 'middle' ground position. Jason had a great distribution of troops across Spain, but failed to utilise turn order as well as the rest of us. Ultimately, this led them to rely more heavily upon the luck of opportunities given, rather than opportunities created.

Finally, Gary. Poor Gary. Their first few turns and round, was almost a complete write-off, thanks to Robbie. These first few moves secured both the winner and the loser of our game. Gary eventually found some creative tactics to cause damage and raise themselves up to 3rd position at one point. However, they were unable to hold back their rage at Robbie and failed to consolidate that position for long enough. They did however, manage to control their turn order in such a way to cause maximum discomfort to the rest of us Grandes. What. A. Game.

If like me, you don't really enjoy many take-that mechanisms in your board games, then let me give you some hope for the future, in particular for playing El Grande. Most take-that mechanisms appear to be unavoidable, punishing actions which do little to help with your own immediate progression. They are designed (in the most part) to hold back your competitors; rather punitively, I might add. 

El Grande is different. Yes it's brutal, yes it's punishing... but the actions are so clearly informed by your own needs and desires, that it is HARD to blame another player if you happen to be the victim of a blood bath. Hard, but not impossible.

This game lends itself to experience, diplomacy, manipulation and a sharp tactical mind. Of course being flexible is advantageous but without a good plan to start with, you may as well just be having fun playing 'king maker' for your opponents amusement. You never know, perhaps one turn they may cut you some slack... but don't bet on it. This is El Grande, after all. 

Even though I can't wait to play this game again, we do not foresee Take That reforming for one more gig (rematch).. but never say never. Emotions were raw and feelings were hurt - but in a good way. The second best quote came after the game from the lead victimised Grande himself, Gary:

"I love it when I can spend an entire evening having my ass handed to me, and still have a great time."

Have a great gaming night yourself, and yes, if you ever get the opportunity, try a game of El Grande. 

No Honour Amongst Thieves

A mechanical vibration trembled through the strange metal floor, causing the small girl to shift her weight in fear, her doll clutched tighter to her chest. A series of grinding moving thuds echoed into the small room seemingly threatening to bring the walls crashing down on her head. But with a final resounding boom that made the room lurch, noises and vibrations stopped.

She didn't like this place. It was cold. And scary. It reminded her of trips to the dentist with it's too bright lights, and scary metal things for sticking her teeth. Tightly clutched she raised her doll Mindy to her face, the pneumatics of her replacement arm softly hissing as they moved. Hiding behind Mindy she fearfully glanced at the others in the room - a large man with an angry face and strong arms, a pretty lady with a mean expression, a fidgety man with glasses, and a couple more men talking to each other - one of them looked like a dentist. Perhaps this was his room ?

She couldn't remember how she got here. Was she at the dentist ? Was she in hospital again ? She didn't know. She was afraid and just wanted to go home. Perhaps the grown ups knew how to get home, but she was frightened to ask. Hadn't she been told to be wary of strangers ? Instead she listened, unsure what to do. The adults argued. The large man was very angry. It seemed no one knew where they were. Why they were here. They talked about this being a prison. And them being prisoners. Of having to escape. It didn't make any sense to her. This didn't look like a prison - it had no bars. And why would she be in prison ? She hadn't been naughty lately - she wasn't sure what kind of naughty put you in prison anyway. Jessica Langham had said a naughty word to the teacher once and got sent to the principal - but she hadn't gone to prison. It didn't make any sense.

The pretty lady approached her. Hey baby, she purred. Come on, stick with me, I'll keep you safe she said, holding out her hand. Deciding she was maybe nice after all, she grabbed the pretty lady's hand, and together they went to a funny looking door in the wall. Come on, the lady said, through here.

As they climbed into a new room, she turned around looking between chambers. They looked the same ! Each room had a single funny looking door in each wall. And each was brightly lit, metal, and smelled slightly weird.

Suddenly the lady picked her up and carried her to the door in the opposite wall. What was she doing ? With a sudden push the little girl found herself rudely shoved into the next chamber - this one was cold, so very cold, her breath steaming in the air. It's ok baby said the pretty lady. It'll be warmer in the next one. Go to the door over there. The little girl did as she was told. Opened the door. Climbed in. And suddenly couldn't breathe. Her throat stung. Her eyes stung. She felt sick. And afraid. She started to cry and try to climb back. But her arms were all wobbly and she couldn't see properly. The door she scrabbled towards started to close, and just before it snapped shut she heard the pretty lady laugh and say something - Stupid kid !

The door clicked shut with a locking sound leaving the little girl to fall to the floor, her doll spinning out of her hands. Mindy ! The little girl couldn't see anymore. Couldn't breathe. Dizzy. And a warm sleepy feeling crept over her. Maybe she would just rest a bit, then find her doll and climb out. As darkness descended she thought What a mean trick that lady had pulled... and she so too wasn't stupid... but most of all... she wanted her mommy...

This week Martin brought along Room 25, a somewhat co-operative game that can have betrayal mechanics - a firm favourite game type at the Ribs.

Room 25 - the diabolical prison with
moving rooms and traps aplenty

An un-apologetic copy of cult film The Cube ( albeit the Cube is well.. a cube... and Room 25 is.. a square... ), the game sees players thrown into a dystopian sci-fi prison / lab rat maze consisting of a number of identically sized rooms - some safe, some not so safe, and some downright lethal. The players have to escape the nightmare of the prison without more than one of their number dying. But there's a catch. Time is limited. And some of the prisoners are not what they seem - they are guards intent on preventing the prisoners escaping. The players can take a peek into another room before they decide to move into it, move into another room, or more darkly, push another player into a room. Finally through some dystopian sci-fi shenanigans players can control the rooms - and shift a line of them in a direction. Clunking and thunking the prison into a new layout.

Your fellow player The scientist just said that room is clear ? Push him in there and see if he was lying. Or maybe shift his line of rooms a bit and let him try again.

The game setup is interesting, and the idea of The Cube makes for a really great game theme that should be an enjoyable experience if done right. However Room 25 does have some issues that makes this game something of a diamond in the rough - a good game with some flaws which may or may not scupper the game for you.

First of the flaws is player elimination. It's absolutely possible for a player to be eliminated on turn one - unlikely but possible. And an eliminated player gets to do nothing for the rest of the game. However, given the game in theory should only run for 30 minutes, this isn't a huge problem. In practice though the game can run longer than 30 minutes - with players discussing moves, throwing out accusations, or just thinking about where they want to go. In our case I think it took us something on the order of over an hour to crank a game out.

Second of the flaws is connected to the first. It's possible for the guards to win in turn one, more likely in turn two. Maybe that isn't so much of a problem however - you can just reset and go again.

Third of the flaws is the nature of the 5 x 5 room layout. After a few plays it should be fairly obvious what an optimum exploration pattern is for a group of prisoners. Sure guards and trap rooms can throw a spanner in that, but by and large it should go by the numbers. But hey. Maybe you don't overthink your games too much, and the cool theme and the interesting variation of room layout makes that problem less of an issue.

Despite the above problems and a handful of minor other flaws the game does have a really cool idea at it's heart and if you are into that kind of thing is really enjoyable and fun.

Despite myself being eliminated on turn 2 I enjoyed the game a lot and would be happy to play it again. Lauren as a bad guy ended up being eliminated a turn or two after me - unknowingly by the other bad guy. Proving that there is no honour amongst thieves. Or possible that Martin just likes killing people - whether they're on his team or not. However some might say Lauren got her just desserts after pushing me into a freezer and then persuading me to happily skip to my death. Doll in hand.

As it was I really didn't mind. I enjoyed it. And I got to speak to Writer Ed for a chunk of time about his exciting new job doing things for the upcoming computer game Elite. Writer Ed is now Elite Ed. Who gets paid to play games. And makes excuses to his girlfriend about playing games at home by telling her its business. Career building. Now pass me the nachos and be quiet.

As for Room 25 - it turned out in the end that despite my death by poison, I won as the surviving good guys succeeded to make it out, regardless of a deranged Martin trying to kill everyone. He got stuck in a proper jail cell, powerless to stop the good guys. Just desserts all round. Except maybe for the gullible little girl.

Xia - Elite Ed proves to be an adept asteroid avoider

Next table over Xia got another play, whizzing space ships around dodging asteroids, selling cargo and playing Elite the board game.
Despite me and Ed chatting for a chunk of gameplay he managed to keep a competitive score and was leading for sometime before Sam started to catch him. Xia is proving to be very popular. If you can manage to beat Rich IV to calling dibs on playing, you might get a seat at this game too !

Abyss. Look at that gorgeous art. Look at it !

Last table downstairs had Abyss, a drafting card game where players vie for control of the empire under the sea via Lords, fights and... pearls. I played this game quite some time ago and I remember it being quite nice - it has some really kick ass art, and the game is... ok. Good ? Alright. Depending if you like these kind of drafty cardy things. I remember it reminded me somewhat of the other drafty cardy tribey game 3012. Which is probably no help as I suspect very few people have actually played 3012.

Punk Rich was going to play this, but on discovery it was only a four player game - not five - he made his excuses to search for something to play upstairs. And then went home ! Tsk. Remember, if you see Rich wandering around, don't let him out of the door, grab him and force him to play a game. He loves it really.

20th Century. Produce Crap. Recycle. Profit. Win.

Upstairs Tim lead a group through Citadels, Mr Bond trotted his horse around El Grande, and Tom was thoroughly beaten in 20th Century. Tom and Stu both experienced Euro vets were humbled, tarred and then feathered and ended up losing by 50 or more points to a strategy that saw lots of waste being recycled by recycling plants. As everything in the 20th century generates waste... this seemed to be a winning ploy. Produce crap. Make profit from clearing up crap. Uh huh. Obvious strategy is obvious ?

A completely not staged shot of Mr Bond
pointing out his evil plans.

Some fillers were then played. Mr Bonds group played some weird tower building game. Which involved not nudging the table and making things fall over. King of Tokyo had a blast where Lewis' punk ass Penguin won, and I got to play the psychic Divinaire with Tom and Stu, and managed my worst score ever, with a smug Tom proving to be the best reader of the tea leaves. Blah.






Next week we have a request for Dead of Winter. Three players already found. Possible two more required.


Numbers - 30 this week. 31 if you count the departing Punk Rich.

Um. Build Towers ? Don't ask
me how you use the wooden balls...

Happiness - a pile of wooden blocks on a pub table.

I'm only happy when it rains...

Self named Spazzy McSpazhands ( aka Punk Rich ) once informed me that East Anglia is the driest region in the UK. I scoffed at such nonsense - picturing the boggy lands of Norfolk - and with this weeks endless rain, mud caked roads and howls of protest from locals, I feel the weather is weighing in on my uninformed unscientific side. Such was the lovely weather this week that forced many a NoBoGer into the very quickly humid Wherry Room. A NoBoG record breaking thirty three people will do that to a small room - fit enough bodies in, and a room will gain its own weather system.

This week seven tables of goodness squeezed into the pub, with Adventurers : Temple of Chac, Kingdom Builder, Keyflower, Kemet, Libertalia, El Grande and Istanbul first up for play.

El Grande - an almost 20 year old game.
Does that make you feel old ?

Keyflower ( which I kept auto correcting to Mayflower ) played to a packed table of six, a Euro game of hex tiles and meeples. The aim of the game as usual is to score more victory points than everyone else - and you do that by building your own village of hex tiles that have victory points directly on them and with hex tiles that score from synergies of other tiles.

The meeples in Keyflower are used in a fairly innovative way - for starters the meeple colours are not attached to a single player - no getting first dibs on colour choice here - instead they are used almost like suits of card in something like Bridge, where everyone has all colours, and once a certain colour of meeple is placed on a tile, for that season, only meeples of that colour can be used on it to either bid for the tile or use the action ( more than one player can take an action, but at an increasing meeple cost ).

Keyflower, with boatloads of new pilgrims ready to offload

Meeples are used then not only for worker placement, but also as currency for bidding on a tile. Your stash of meeples and therefore the makeup of just how many meeples of each colour you have, is secret, and so bidding or using the actions on the hex can become something of a canny game of what colour do I think you have run out of - particularly as one of the four colours of meeple is something of a prestige colour and difficult to get your hands on.

Actions can be taken anywhere on the table - including others villages, the key difference being that the owner of a tile gets to keep all the meeples placed on it at the end of a season - effectively earning you currency, and of course, meeples share duties as both worker placements and currency - be careful what you do with what.

The game is played over four seasons, with the final season allowing you to pick up the point multiplying boats in player turn order.

Pete offered a thumbs up for the game - and given as he is no fan of auction games, it must have been pretty good. Alina won, with Pete sneaking into second place.

First games out of the way, a series of second games hit tables - a couple of games of King of Tokyo to an almost newbie KoT table, Snow Tails - the game of reverse physics dog sledding - Ra, Bohnanza, Coup and One Night Ultimate Werewolf.

Snow Tails... the dogs haven't turned up yet. Lazy mutts.

 I got to watch a round of Coup and then join in - my first up close and personal play of the game. Coup reminded me very much of Mascarade, with players declaring themselves to be a certain role - which may or may not be a bluff - and then taking the action for that role . Anyone that doesn't believe any role declaration can challenge them. So far, so Mascarade. The differences however are that you have two roles in front of you at the start of the game - and you can look at them at any time. You also can't switch your role cards with others... you can only switch with the face down deck and only then if you declare yourself to be the role that can do that. And lastly some roles can actively block others - you simply declare yourself and state you are blocking their action ( which can also be challenged ).

Money is acquired in Coup in very similar ways to Mascarade - one role gives 3 gold, one steals 2 from another and so on, but here money is not the game end, but rather a means to an end - gold can power up some key abilities that allow you to eliminate other players role cards - either completely out of hand with no recourse, or by using the cheaper but blockable assassinate role. Lose both your role cards and you are out of the game.

Any challenges you make also result in the loss of a role card - for whoever turns out to be wrong with their challenge.

Quite fun to play, but eh, the game failed to have that key bit of tension and suspense for me. It seems to dance around the current trend for secret role based games ( werewolf variants ) , but miss most of the point of them. Whilst I like Mascarade, and it's a fun game to play, it's definitely not as strong as something like Resistance, and the game can occasionally fall flat on its face when people don't realise a game winning role is at hand - or a lot of roles have been revealed. Coup takes that Mascarade premise adjusts it again - and I feel gets an ever weaker game out of it. There's a very binary feel to Coup - two roles, two failures only, there doesn't seem quite enough interaction or quite enough impetus to actually get into peoples faces - it can be just about impossible to work out whether someone has a role or not ( there is no info ) and the punishment for getting it wrong is throwing half your chance to win the game out the window. At least in Mascarade the punishment isn't nearly so strong, and there's also the fun of failing to keep track of who you are.

Eh. Meh. I think Coup needs a few more tries, but misses the mark I feel. Give it a go and see what you think !

Twenty 20

NoBoG has broken new ground this week, a record busting twenty people turned up to play games ! It's great to see a steady stream of new faces enjoying the evening and becoming regulars or even irregulars as they return in the following weeks. So a big well done to everyone, new and old, for making NoBoG Tuesdays so warm, friendly and fun !

This week we got to welcome Barnaby, Simon and Liz as newcomers to NoBoG. Ed also made a welcome return this week after a long hiatus, it was good to see him and his new tropical island tan, and Fly Sam also made a repeat visit to our corner of the pub.

As for the gaming - Power Grid, Lords of Waterdeep, El Grande and Cyclades hit the tables as the main fare, followed by a number of smaller offerings - The Resistance, Kingdom Builder, Cash & Guns and Grimoire. ( Grimoire is a fab little filler game, if you've never played it, you should, just for the novelty of the spell book action selection malarkey ).

Grimoire - Eager neophytes hold their spell books at the ready

I got to finally play Cyclades this week, a game from the same stable as Kemet, which sees players competing in a very light war game / Euro to become the most dominant in the archipelago. Area control is a key aspect of this game, and that's achieved by military force. But this is no Risk type game of endless troop shuffling, instead Cyclades presents a definitely Euro inspired twist to the military aspect of the game, where it's often more important that you have bid for the right actions at the right time, than it is to have a whole pile of troops somewhere. Crucially in your turn you will only get to perform one type of action - be that sea themed with Poseidon, buying ships, moving ships, building ports or say land warfare based with Ares, buying soldiers, moving soldiers or building forts. Given that the map is a patchwork of sea and islands, both sea and land are required to make progress - the military conquest immediately becomes a much more cagey action choice affair, rather than a straight up move and fight of say Kemet, as it's impossible to do everything in a single turn.

Like any good Euro, actions can also be taken to improve your position - do you invest in making future turns cheaper, buying more gold income, or building up to the crucial game winning metropolis buildings ? Slightly changing things up for the usual Euro fare - each set of actions randomly changes its place in the turn order at the start of a turn, meaning that just when each action triggers can play just as important a part as to what the action is - if Poseidon comes up before Ares, it could be that your invading land armies won't get the chance to move as your ships you were using for transport are swept from the sea. This is a real nice disturbance to trying to over analyse which action should fit where and how to optimise for it. Of course, some will hate the randomness of it, but, it's open to action bidding, so the choices are definitely yours to make, random turn order or no.

All in all, Cyclades is a good game, it mixes some direct conflict into the usual Euro mix to make for an interesting more aggressive kind of Euro, and it's theme of ancient mythological Greece is handled very nicely - I think because of its familiarity it pulls off a better theme feel than its sibling board game Kemet. It's much less of a pressure cooker than Kemet, has a lighter warfare part and an increased Euro building aspect.

There's enough going on in Cyclades turn to turn to make you think, but not disappear into analysis paralysis, and the game doesn't overstay its welcome or suffer from bloated gameplay.

On the other hand, I am not sure there is quite enough there to make it a real long lived classic, I think it's simple enough to start to fall into predictable patterns, but, that's taking a pretty harsh line -  the game is solid and very enjoyable and it's going to take a while before you become over used to its rhythms. Certainly the mix up of turn order and the changing monster cards ( special actions ) should always present fresh problems with each play. Despite some minor misgivings about its longevity I actually think I prefer Cyclades to Kemet - it's refreshing and interesting, and absolutely worth some play time.

If you haven't given it a go, give Sam a prod to stick it on a table near you.

Cash and Guns finally got to table at NoBoG this week. It's been down a number of weeks over a very long time period, but it's never garnered enough random impetus to actually make it out. This week it did, and its enjoyable, anarchic stupid play - waving foam guns at each other and talking smack was great fun. I suspect this is going to be something of a popular trend for a bit at NoBoG as the serious and deadly foam gun pointing was enjoyed by spectators as well as the players. If I hadn't been playing I would have taken a photo. As it was I was too busy avoiding gunfire.

Cash and Guns, if you've never played, is very simple - a bunch of cash gets put on the table for division amongst the gun toting thugs that each of you play. You get to select whether your gun fires a blank or a shot, and then point your gun at someone. If someone gets shot they have to sit down, take a wound and get no share of the cash. But maybe you don't want to get shot in the first place - in which case you have an opportunity to voluntarily back off - maybe there are too many guns pointing at you, or perhaps Rich with his gun pointing at your head has a mean glint in his eye that means today the gun is loaded. . . Crucially you have eight bullet cards to use in eight rounds, and once a bullet card is used it's gone. So you must choose wisely when to use your blanks and when to use your actual bullets.

The crim with the most loot at the end of eight rounds is the winner.

Variations put special powers into play that break rules in interesting ways, and perhaps most interesting of all, the cop variation puts a single undercover police officer in the midst - who has to phone for reinforcements without getting blown away. The hidden traitor in the midst mechanic. Tricky.

Just because I had won Cyclades, half the table pointed their gun at me in the first round of Cash and Guns. If in doubt, shoot me ? Unfair I call it. Filthy criminals.



Finally. A distasteful subject, but one that must be addressed. A word about Low Hanging Fruit. Practically every week the phrase "Low Hanging Fruit" is muttered by someone at some table. Often it's Pete. Or Tom. It's been called into question whether it should be banned, as the imagery conjured up by the term "Tom's low hanging fruit" and his quip about that's what his wife says is akin to mental torture or against some human rights convention.

Just Say No to Low Hanging Fruit.

Citius, Altius, Fortius

The London 2012 Olympics are over. Nine of us, inspired by the sporting values we've witnessed over the past two weeks, gathered to play games.  But for some reason we chose particularly vicious and cut-throat games. Yes, there was no respect, friendship or excellence on display on this hot and humid evening. Only games that inspired players to lie, cheat and connive were brought to the table.

Cosmic Encounter saw Jimmy, Rich, Pete and Phil threaten and cajole each other into carving up the galaxy. In fact rather than let planets fall into the hands of their enemies they were joyfully letting entire worlds be consumed. The death toll was horrendous, yet the greatest loss was their  morals and pride. Both were set aside as game drew to a close with a win for Rich, but only because Jimmy couldn't stand to see Pete win and with the skill of a Chinese badminton player threw the game.

On the other table I was enjoying the mid 90's classic El Grande with John, Moritz, Nicky and Tom. It all started off nicely with everyone adding their colourful cubes to the map. But it soon descended into a game of vicious reprisals as everyone chose not to improve their own board position, but to ruin everyone else’s. Rather than striving for excellence there was the battle to keep everyone pegged back and let mediocrity reign. Nicky just managed get ahead and finished as the least mediocre of the mediocre.

We then moved on to most depraved and nasty game of the evening - the dreaded Lifeboats. This is about surviving a shipwreck. But rather than helping each other in a time of peril,  the game pits the players against each other and urges them to commit despicable acts of wickedness and cowardliness. As the boats spring leaks and gradually sink, the players vote on which boats should move and when there is no room in the boat, who should be thrown overboard to the sharks. John managed to get a couple of his hapless sailors to safety, therefore, painting a huge target on his remaining sailors who suddenly found themselves in less-than-seaworthy boats. Promises were broken, lies were told and then there was the wretched begging and pleading, which mostly fell on deaf ears. Half the boats made it to shore, while the others were consigned to the deep along with the poor sailors. The survivors were totted up and it came as no surprise that the scoundrel Tom had won; his history of blackmail, low cunning and blood doping obviously giving him the edge.

Sir Chris Hoy would have wept.

Beer. I had some of Wolf Brewery's Lazy Dog.  A chestnut coloured bitter that couldn't be more chestnutty if it had be violated by a squirrel. Pete proclaimed it to be bang on, but I found it to be a little on the sour side. Nuts, tobacco and a dash of malt vinegar. 5/10.