Citius, Altius, Fortius

The London 2012 Olympics are over. Nine of us, inspired by the sporting values we've witnessed over the past two weeks, gathered to play games.  But for some reason we chose particularly vicious and cut-throat games. Yes, there was no respect, friendship or excellence on display on this hot and humid evening. Only games that inspired players to lie, cheat and connive were brought to the table.

Cosmic Encounter saw Jimmy, Rich, Pete and Phil threaten and cajole each other into carving up the galaxy. In fact rather than let planets fall into the hands of their enemies they were joyfully letting entire worlds be consumed. The death toll was horrendous, yet the greatest loss was their  morals and pride. Both were set aside as game drew to a close with a win for Rich, but only because Jimmy couldn't stand to see Pete win and with the skill of a Chinese badminton player threw the game.

On the other table I was enjoying the mid 90's classic El Grande with John, Moritz, Nicky and Tom. It all started off nicely with everyone adding their colourful cubes to the map. But it soon descended into a game of vicious reprisals as everyone chose not to improve their own board position, but to ruin everyone else’s. Rather than striving for excellence there was the battle to keep everyone pegged back and let mediocrity reign. Nicky just managed get ahead and finished as the least mediocre of the mediocre.

We then moved on to most depraved and nasty game of the evening - the dreaded Lifeboats. This is about surviving a shipwreck. But rather than helping each other in a time of peril,  the game pits the players against each other and urges them to commit despicable acts of wickedness and cowardliness. As the boats spring leaks and gradually sink, the players vote on which boats should move and when there is no room in the boat, who should be thrown overboard to the sharks. John managed to get a couple of his hapless sailors to safety, therefore, painting a huge target on his remaining sailors who suddenly found themselves in less-than-seaworthy boats. Promises were broken, lies were told and then there was the wretched begging and pleading, which mostly fell on deaf ears. Half the boats made it to shore, while the others were consigned to the deep along with the poor sailors. The survivors were totted up and it came as no surprise that the scoundrel Tom had won; his history of blackmail, low cunning and blood doping obviously giving him the edge.

Sir Chris Hoy would have wept.

Beer. I had some of Wolf Brewery's Lazy Dog.  A chestnut coloured bitter that couldn't be more chestnutty if it had be violated by a squirrel. Pete proclaimed it to be bang on, but I found it to be a little on the sour side. Nuts, tobacco and a dash of malt vinegar. 5/10.

Death Race 2012

Too long. Far too long. Since I was welcomed within the hallowed walls of the Beefy Ribs for several hours of foolery. Tonight I had in tow a colleague of mine, new guy Paul. New guy Paul had professed (confessed?) a desire to entertain himself via the way of the boardgame, having taken possession of a few such games himself and struggled to trick, sorry, persuade, anyone to join him in this trivial pursuit. I rocked up at about 7.30pm and Paul not long after. Introductions were made and I led new guy Paul downstairs to his untimely demise, sorry, evening of entertainment.

It so happened that there was 100 people who turned up to play games at the Bibs of Reef this evening, a new record according to games master, Matthew Bond. We had to split up into 3 tables. On one table they played Ascension, a card game developed by people who devoted their entire life to playing Magic the Gathering, or some such. On the middle table they foolishly attempted a game of Ages of Empire 3. Ages of Empires, do you see? I think they completed the first turn.

Whilst us 6, of which there were several people, did a game of Road Kill Rally. Road Kill Rally mostly consists of driving a car, very fast, and shooting, and maiming a.k.a killing. The rules were delivered by game owner John, and we rolled dice to see who went first. It was new guy Paul! What an introduction! New guy Paul was determined to get started with a bang, and accelerated his plastic vehicle to here before unseen speeds. I hope this is not how new guy Paul actually drives a car, or his insurance premiums will be bonkers. The thing with RKR is that when you start the game, you only see a tiny fraction of the board, so new guy Paul's frankly mental plan was a little wild. He went careening into a corner and I am pretty sure got blown up by someone else in very short order. And thus we proceeded to race, and blow up. Simon appeared to have the game down to an art form as he skilfully maneouvered his vehicle around the track at pace, rarely crashing, rarely getting shot, and generally using his super awesome super power to mitigate against any damage he ended up taking. He drove through pedestrian after pedestrian whilst the rest of us wailed and gnashed our teeth. John followed Simon round very professionally, rarely troubling the citizens who had strayed onto the highways and keeping his car in a generally acceptable position. So it was left to the rest of us, them being Alina, Tim, new guy Paul, and me, to obliterate each other into utter oblivion. Not a soul was spared, as a no holds barred blowings up was utterly indulged upon. Alina gleefully fired off death rays and Paul loaded up his car with an array of missiles and missile improvements. I was endowed with a flame thrower that I rather failed to use to it's full potential, and on the odd occasion that I did, it tended to wind up in a hail of blank dice and a depleted hand of cards, which left me entirely vulnerable to the following players joyful emissions of weaponary that tended to write off my vehicle in double quick time. By the end of the game, my poorly automobile had been reduced to twisted metal and burned driver on no less than four occasions. Nevertheless, it says much for my persistence that I tumbled across the line 3rd, some way behind the slightly bored looking Simon, and the highway code abiding John. The game was concluded at this point and we totted up. Simon was streets ahead, followed by Alina and then I think Paul, Tim, John, and me bringing up the rear.

And so it was. An entertaining little game but it felt like it could move at a quicker pace, given the violence involved. Still, not a bad way to spend your evening. Also of note was the glorious time when Paul went to the bar to bring me first a pint of Jackal, then a pint of Wherry, and then a pint of Jackal, not because I was drinking at an insane rate, but the first two being cloudy barrel bottomers that simply would not do. Super credit to the Ribs for putting up with my pickiness.

Rare Sightings

Greetings, stand in blog lackey John here reporting on the goings on down t' pub.

Eleven found their way to the Ribs this week, and in a curiously co-ordinated kind of way, three rarely spotted veteran nobog'ers all turned up at once, James, Dan and Crocker. You wait ages for one, then three turn up all at once.

Super Dungeon Explore
James, Dan, Phil and Bondy sat down for a trawl through Super Dungeon Explore with its groovy miniatures - Phil challenging all comers in the role of the evil dungeon controller.

Flame grilled heroes were duly served to a hungry dragon, barbecued do-gooders going down a treat before the dungeon returned to its peaceful malevolence under Phil's guiding hand.

Fun and stupidity were had - it looks like a blast "How does it compare to Descent ?" - Crocker
"They remembered to make this fun" - Dan

Hamster Wheel
After the burning and the suffering and the dying, Hamsterrolle was brought forth to balance precariously on the wonky pub tables.

Ora & Labora
On Table 2 Ora and Labora was brought forth once again for a four handed outing, and as before there was a lot of head scratching and doubt about just who the hell was winning. Matt, an early fancied favourite ended up in last place - his meta game of having endless flocks of sheep not paying dividends in the end. Moritz quietly building his monastic empire ended with a convincing win - one more settlement than everyone else and a nice mix of just about everything.

Eclipse
At the gloomy end of the half lit room Eclipse hit the table again after a brief hiatus of some weeks, an uneasy peace falling over the galaxy and its three would be rulers. Rich managed to grab the galactic centre and put in place some soft diplomatic agreements for everyone to play nice. I missed the end of this, but warships were moving and threatening towards the end, and I would guess the diplomacy did not last.

Let it be known that the perpetually lop sided table has now been 'fixed' with the application of the NoBoG Special Levelling Device - a plank of wood that lives with the table covers. The dawn of a future with even tables beckons. Suggestions for branding, decorating or defacing the Special Levelling Device to confuse the general public as to its arcane usage are being currently entertained.