Wednesday, 8 August 2012

Death Race 2012

Too long. Far too long. Since I was welcomed within the hallowed walls of the Beefy Ribs for several hours of foolery. Tonight I had in tow a colleague of mine, new guy Paul. New guy Paul had professed (confessed?) a desire to entertain himself via the way of the boardgame, having taken possession of a few such games himself and struggled to trick, sorry, persuade, anyone to join him in this trivial pursuit. I rocked up at about 7.30pm and Paul not long after. Introductions were made and I led new guy Paul downstairs to his untimely demise, sorry, evening of entertainment.

It so happened that there was 100 people who turned up to play games at the Bibs of Reef this evening, a new record according to games master, Matthew Bond. We had to split up into 3 tables. On one table they played Ascension, a card game developed by people who devoted their entire life to playing Magic the Gathering, or some such. On the middle table they foolishly attempted a game of Ages of Empire 3. Ages of Empires, do you see? I think they completed the first turn.

Whilst us 6, of which there were several people, did a game of Road Kill Rally. Road Kill Rally mostly consists of driving a car, very fast, and shooting, and maiming a.k.a killing. The rules were delivered by game owner John, and we rolled dice to see who went first. It was new guy Paul! What an introduction! New guy Paul was determined to get started with a bang, and accelerated his plastic vehicle to here before unseen speeds. I hope this is not how new guy Paul actually drives a car, or his insurance premiums will be bonkers. The thing with RKR is that when you start the game, you only see a tiny fraction of the board, so new guy Paul's frankly mental plan was a little wild. He went careening into a corner and I am pretty sure got blown up by someone else in very short order. And thus we proceeded to race, and blow up. Simon appeared to have the game down to an art form as he skilfully maneouvered his vehicle around the track at pace, rarely crashing, rarely getting shot, and generally using his super awesome super power to mitigate against any damage he ended up taking. He drove through pedestrian after pedestrian whilst the rest of us wailed and gnashed our teeth. John followed Simon round very professionally, rarely troubling the citizens who had strayed onto the highways and keeping his car in a generally acceptable position. So it was left to the rest of us, them being Alina, Tim, new guy Paul, and me, to obliterate each other into utter oblivion. Not a soul was spared, as a no holds barred blowings up was utterly indulged upon. Alina gleefully fired off death rays and Paul loaded up his car with an array of missiles and missile improvements. I was endowed with a flame thrower that I rather failed to use to it's full potential, and on the odd occasion that I did, it tended to wind up in a hail of blank dice and a depleted hand of cards, which left me entirely vulnerable to the following players joyful emissions of weaponary that tended to write off my vehicle in double quick time. By the end of the game, my poorly automobile had been reduced to twisted metal and burned driver on no less than four occasions. Nevertheless, it says much for my persistence that I tumbled across the line 3rd, some way behind the slightly bored looking Simon, and the highway code abiding John. The game was concluded at this point and we totted up. Simon was streets ahead, followed by Alina and then I think Paul, Tim, John, and me bringing up the rear.

And so it was. An entertaining little game but it felt like it could move at a quicker pace, given the violence involved. Still, not a bad way to spend your evening. Also of note was the glorious time when Paul went to the bar to bring me first a pint of Jackal, then a pint of Wherry, and then a pint of Jackal, not because I was drinking at an insane rate, but the first two being cloudy barrel bottomers that simply would not do. Super credit to the Ribs for putting up with my pickiness.

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