Kogge, Kogge, Monkey Snogger

Kogge. I am at a loss. I am trying to come to terms with the fact that Kogge not only classifies as a game, but that a certain subsection of society (who really ought to be spending their free time under strict supervision) actually get some enjoyment out of playing it. Bewildering. I was left floundering during my two hour experience, two hours of fumbling around, blindly attempting to decipher what I was supposed to be doing. Two hours of utter grim despair, wondering how to associate the theme with the concepts of gameplay. The theme, oh the theme. It is not so much pasted on as affixed with a dab of spittle and a healthy dosage of prayer. I could relate nothing to anything, as events developed and oh wait, after 20 minutes of twiddling my thumbs it was my turn again. An attempt to make a move that would advance my position would be forthcoming but rarely was I aware of the impact. Did I mention this game was dry by the way? Dryer than the hair of someone who has stood directly in the path of a jet engine for a thousand jahre. And the clock ticked on. And my will to live was sapped. I understand that in the business this kind of game is referred to as a 'brain burner'. It was not so much my brain that was on fire by 11pm, rather my fevered imagination, picturing every copy of Trade on Jerky Seas going up in smoke, thus denying the unsuspecting board gamer the prospect of accidentally taking part in a game, ever again. There was a time that when I wanted to bemuse non-gamers with the utter ridiculousness of board gaming, I would mention that the other week I spent a good portion of my Tuesday evening playing Canal Mania. CANAL MANIA EVERYBODY! Because who doesn't get manic at the merest mention of a canal? Well, Canal Mania has been usurped in the order of games that I have played which I could never hope to explain to my mother the concept of someone voluntarily committing valuable hours of their life to. Kogge. Truly unfathomable.

The other gaming event of the evening was Zooloretto. This was a simple, fun, family game that couldn't be further removed from Kogge if it tried. Nobody was blown away, but I suspect that if I had an inkling as to what was to come then I would have appreciated it more, and been grateful for small mercies. Also, after two beers I think I got on everyones nerves by repeatedly making "jokes" about the animal mating, uh, mechanism. Anyways, Matt won with 35 I believe, I got 25 playing very conservatively, Mike and Jimmy got a bit less. I am not completely sure because my Dad phoned up during scoring and asked where he could get 5 meters of network cable.